I remember the first time I saw a swastika in Barcelona. It was probably the year 2003 or 2004, right after I arrived in Barcelona. It was painted on the outside of the sinagoga major de Barcelona, believed to be the first synagogue in Europe:

✡︎ = 卐

I remember feeling as if I'd been slapped in the face. Shock, disgust, even fear jolted through me. I had never seen anything like this in the States. I couldn't believe this atrocity hadn't been immediately removed. I couldn't believe people could nonchalantly walk past it as if it were no big deal, without missing a beat in their conversations, without dropping everything and scrubbing it off the wall themselves. This was rabid antisemitism, pure and simple.

First of all, defacing a synagogue; not just any synagogue, but the first synagogue in Europe, built in the 3rd century, during the Roman Era!!

Second, saying that Judaism, the religion of 6 million innocent people who were systematically murdered by the Nazis is the same thing as... the Nazis? WTF?? How sick, twisted and hateful do you have to be? Of course that was antisemitism!

I remember how that moment, for the first time, made me doubt my positive perceptions of this wonderful city and its people. It was my first stark moment of "We're not in Kansas anymore" and I couldn't square such ugly ignorance and hate with the culturally rich, tolerant, peaceful society I was falling in love with. I now felt a little less safe than before, as a Jew, knowing that such things could be painted on priceless Jewish landmarks and life could go on as usual.

It took me another 20 years to understand that graffiti in a different way. I still disapprove of the act of defacing that synagogue, or any historical landmark. However: perhaps the Star of David wasn't meant to represent Judaism, or the Jewish people. Perhaps it represented the State of Israel, which, after all, calls itself -- to the detriment of all the world's Jews -- "The Jewish State". Also, what is the only symbol on the Israeli flag? The Star of David.

Back in 2003 and 2004, the State of Israel was already infamous for committing atrocities against the Palestinian people. The second intifada, or Palestinian uprising against Israeli occupation, was going on at exactly that time. And awareness of all this was much higher in Barcelona, and Europe in general, than in the United States. There is also a significant Muslim community in Barcelona, and they as well as the general Spanish population support the Palestinian cause much more than people in the U.S.

For the past two decades, since I moved to Barcelona, I've been thinking more and more about the State of Israel and its relation to Jews, Judaism, the world, and, of course, me.

I was brought up to believe that Israel was sacred, that it could do no wrong, that its existence was essential to the survival of the Jews, and that it must be defended at all costs.

But now, more than ever, more and more people in the world -- including many, many thousands of Jews -- are seeing the truth. A truth that can be extremely painful because it destroys everything we were taught from when we were small children, thereby destroying our sense of reality, and for some of us, even our identity. And that truth is this:

Israel is utterly insane.

Israel is the enemy of peace.

Israel is the enemy of any ethical principles put forth by the religion of Judaism.

Israel has become the enemy of the Jewish people.

The world is now less, not more, safe for Jews... because of Israel.

For some people, it's such a painful thing to face that it's too much to bear. So they will not see it. Instead, they will violently react against those who try to make them see it.

Those people have their own journey. I have compassion for them. They grew up brainwashed like me. To break free from that is not only difficult, but will inevitably cost them their relationships with friends, family, and community. Either way, they will be pariahs: either in their human relationships, or to the larger world and to their own sense of reality, morality, and self. I can understand why they cling to each other inside their cozy little bubble of alternate cult-reality, tending to each other's narcissistic injuries, insisting that they are the real victims. It sucks to be them because they are losing and they will lose even more. There is no choice for them that doesn't lead to loneliness and loss.

But I hope some day soon that they will see, and join the majority of humanity in opposing the evil that Israel has been committing for far too long: theft, racism, apartheid, kidnapping, murder, torture, ethnic cleansing, genocide. I hope they will soon be able to perceive the reality that is staring them in the face and clean house, instead of raising their voices against people marching for a ceasefire, or people clamoring to end the suffering of the Palestinian victims of Israel and its patron the U.S.A., or smearing anyone who criticises Israel as "anti-semitic", or pointing at a banner painted with ✡︎ = 卐 and screaming, as I did, anti-semitism. 

But in the meantime: how do we not expect to see ✡︎ = 卐 when something that calls itself "The Jewish State" murders, to this date, more than 35,000 people trapped in an open-air concentration camp?

In fact, how do we not see this even more?

Rabbi Yisroel Dovid Weiss, interviewed on Al-Jazeera: "We apologize for what’s being done in the name of Judaism."

Excerpt: As we see [what happened on October 7th], it was shocking to the world. But the world doesn’t seem to take into regard the 75 years that every day, every day almost, you have Palestinian death and suffering. But we as Jews do take this into consideration.

"It’s not how I personally look into this; it’s how as a Jew who’s observant, who’s following the rules of Judaism, of the Torah, [looks at it]. Judaism is subservience to God… It’s a religion of 3,000 years while Zionism is a mere 150 years old. [Zionism is] a transformation to nationalism, to have a piece of land. It’s a political movement, it’s a materialistic movement, it was started by Jews who were non-religious. And they’re simply ... using the name of Israel, using the Star of David, claiming that it’s given to them by God.

"And we, who are following the Torah, who are true to the Torah, stand up adamantly refuting what they’re saying. The Torah clearly states that we shall not kill, we shall not steal. And the whole concept [of Zionism] is strange, is totally antithetical to our teachings, and contradictory. 

"The Jewish community had been living together with the Muslim community and the Christian community. And since this movement started and since they gained hold of the land and eventually got rule over the land, there’s been endless bloodshed. This hate has grown a thousandfold. It’s a wedge driven between the Jews and the Muslims, and it’s brought death and suffering to the Palestinian people in the majority, but to the Jewish populace also. 

"As we see [what happened on October 7th], it was shocking to the world. But the world doesn’t seem to take into regard the 75 years that every day, every day almost, you have Palestinian death and suffering.

"But we as Jews do take this into consideration. We say, “This is clearly a rebellion against God. And it hurts us more than usual because it’s being done in my name.” And the rabbis you’re seeing, the power bases that you’re seeing in the settlements… those are the ones who bought into this tale that it’s God’s wish. But the central part of Judaism, the very religious whatever country it may be, it may be Argentina, says “No. We’re dead set against this. We cry with the Palestinians.”

"And therefore what’s happening today in Gaza, they’re bombing them relentlessly and they’re pointing at them and accusing them of being animals…and terrorists. It’s all to cover their totally illegitimate occupation. And to that I’ll bring a simple proof: we lived together, the Jewish community [and the Muslim community] for hundreds of years. In Palestine, Egypt, Morocco Tunisia, Iran. In all the countries we lived and flourished as religious Jews amongst religious Muslims without any human rights groups to protect us. We always lived together. We babysat each other’s children. Even though we have a distinctly different religion, it was never a cause of animosity.

"All that changed with the introduction of Zionism, the control of the land. And since that came — which was not 1948, it was the 1890s or so —and [the Zionists] started coming in and taking over the lands. Since then there is death and suffering: of the Palestinians, and of the Jews. Because they are creating this fear, this hate, this estrangement.

"I can show you so many pictures of how the Jews [and Arabs] lived together. Any old Arab or Jew will tell you. And how we used to babysit each other’s children, like I say, and help each other. There are many stories people will tell us. So it’s clearly what Ben Gvir and other people are saying. They are coming from Mizrahi. That is that segment that is religious Zionists…

"And the God-fearing community all around the world, we stand in total opposition. And it really hurts us, we have no words for the suffering of the Palestinians. That’s why we came out. Yes, we have tens of thousands. But we would have hundreds of thousands demonstrating constantly [if not for] the fear of the repercussions from the Zionists because they’re vicious. We went out two days ago to Manhattan. We demonstrated. I came back. The car tires were slashed, the mirrors were broken.And this is nothing [compared to what] they threaten. They make death threats. And in Jerusalem and Al-Quds and in other parts of the Occupied Palestine, people get killed and arrested and so forth. So there’s a reason why there’s less of a voice that you hear, even though our communities are full of opposition to Zionism…

"We can only plead with the world leaders and demand that this injustice, this criminality, this suffering of the Palestinian people … must be stopped. One day this will end. It’s against God. And we as Jews are crying and hurting with them and praying for them. And we try, we go out tirelessly. Some of us go out all the time. I mean, we’ve been doing this for years. And many others do demonstrations in front of the U.N… A lot of the media doesn’t cover it because they know that they will be accused of being anti-semitic.  

"But we try and we hope that with God’s help, that this compassion, that he will free them, ultimately with a totally free Palestine. We as Jews will be able to show our tremendous gratification for the fact that we were embraced and taken in when we suffered in Europe. We went through Crusades, Inquisitions. It was the Muslim countries that took us in. And we flourished there. So we should be able to show, again, our gratefulness and not to watch how they’re being vilified… and we apologise for what’s being done in the name of Judaism."